"Week 14How come I seem to be in a state of constant fear?What if my lover calls? What if he doesn't? What if someone sees us together? Can I call him? Should I call him? When should I call him? Am I acting differently? Dressing differently? Do I smell differently? When I'm not busy obsessing about these questions, I play over all of the possible outcomes in my head until it spins.Week 15Guarding my damn computer and cell phone is now my full-time job. I try to keep our communication to the bare minimum, still I have to arrange those risqué rendezvous. Which means my computer and cell phone likely harbor all sorts of damning evidence.I suffer regular panic attacks wondering if I actually left my laptop open. Yesterday, when I forgot my mobile, I had to run home to retrieve it immediately.Week 16I called my lover by my husband's name today and we had a good laugh, but now I worry I'll say the wrong name at the wrong time. It is a constant fear. Over coffee it is a concern; in bed it. A year at college did a lot more than transform her sexy body. This was an entirely different Julie than the shy nervous girl that I would bump into while doing yard work. "All finished" I said, almost wanting to head back to my yard being so caught off guard by her brazen behavior. "Oh no, could you do the back of my legs as well?" she said wiggling her legs and ass again. "Uhhhh, sure" I said as my trembling hand picked up the bottle of oil. Her legs were so smooth and firm that I swear my mouth began to water. I was rubbing her hamstring, not going too high, and calf when she said it."I noticed you were watching me as well." There was a little pause and I stopped my rubbing. "Well, do you like what you see?"I didn't know what to say. Was this girl really trying to seduce me right now? I knew she had a crush on me, but I never thought anything of it because she was so young. But she grew up a little, went off to college and became true young woman; and she was sure acting like.
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